Things to Ponder

I have been having a lot of difficulties in addressing many of the staff issues here at the mission. Both with employees and with some of the older young men and young ladies that help out here while they complete their education. It seems like some things we Americans take for granted is the ability to discern cause and affect. It seems that often times I think I have achieved acceptance of some principle of hygiene or preventive maintenance when all of a sudden, it becomes a challenge once again. I feel like I am constantly reinventing the wheel. I sometimes get to the point where I want to throw my hands up in the air and take the next flight home. 



Recently the challenges have become a little more difficult to tolerate. For one thing, the closest friend I have here, my confidant, if you will, had a heavy work schedule so I was unable to kibitz with her about work difficulties. Secondly, there seems to have been a shift in the staff attitude this past week and suddenly we were without a good deal of our employees by week's end so my work load intensified exponentially. 


I was just at the point when I thought I couldn't take another moment of all this when I remembered what a good friend of mine told me that should help when dealing with Haitians. She told me that a friend of hers, who is one of those people that fits nicely in the cracks between worlds, told her of a vision she had regarding the people of Haiti. She explained that in this vision, she was shown that Haiti is one of the first places people are reincarnated as Humans. At first I was like, "What?" but as the idea sank in, I started to consider many of the most common issues I, and many of the other humanitarian aid workers I know, often complain about. Sometimes when I am trying to resolve a problem, or mitigate an issue, the path of least resistance isn't necessarily the one taken. Common sense isn't, and neither is common courtesy. Most Haitians seem to be in survivor mode and show little or know graciousness when receiving aid or assistance. 


One thing I noticed is that very few Haitians make eye contact, or exchange basic pleasantries. In fact, some days it's hard to tell I'm not in New York City! (lol - just kidding my yanks! You know I love you!)


When I first arrived, I was full of that volunteer spirit. Somewhere along the line I let the harshness of Haiti roughen up my soft heart. I fell into a rut of working too many hours with too little rest. The price I've paid is both my health and my heart. I am now fighting off a mild case of strep throat and trying to realign my heart's desire with my will. 


I came down here with the goal of improving life for these kids. I can't kid myself into thinking I can do it all at once. And I definitely can't kid myself into thinking people will be happy with change, because it's good for them. 


So glad I was able to get out to see friends this weekend. I really need to fit more of that into my schedule. Wish I had a reliable SUV or truck to get around in. In the meantime, I plan to get back to basics and kill them with kindness. Pray for me, and send me your positive vibes. And if you know anyone that's willing to come down for a couple of weeks, a month, two months, to volunteer their time helping with the school, the children's programs, or just to help with keeping my sanity (reads: kibitz and coffee pal) please let me know. I'd be so grateful and I know the kids would love you in equal measures to your generosity!


Stay tuned for more